Review: Fast Five

Justin Lin, 2011
 
I used to watch films that would provide some kind of intellectual stimulation. I used to watch films that didn't rely on a pounding soundtrack, guns, violence, parkour and fast cars. I would watch films that could challenge me, and really make me think.

I have always believed that a constant maintenance of an open mind is the key to wisdom. That is to say, I usually watch a film irrespective of genre, director, star, studio or franchise. Some of my favourite films are those which I discovered while watching television late at night. If I am lucky enough to be in front of a television when a film of which I know very little, or preferentially absolutely nothing about, happens to start, it is like a gift. This kind of open-minded attitude and spontaneity has been of absolute benefit. If it were not for maintaining such an attitude I would not have discovered David Lynch.

That is not to say that I am a snob when it comes to film. At least I don't think I am. I am not the kind of person who will only watch films of the very highest intellectual calibre. Some of my favourite films are blockbusters, and I have no qualm in admitting that particularly intellectual films and high-brow art-house features can prove intimidating, although that is not to say that I do not try. Hence, keeping an open and optimistic mind.

However, when I find myself watching Fast Five, I cannot help but think of all the other things I could donate two hours of my life to. Better things, like watching the type of film which I would happily recommend to anyone whom I think may appreciate it. I could be watching a film which benefit me in the way that only a certain type of film can. However, I am making a contradiction: If it were not for maintaining an open-minded attitude to film I would not have somehow came up with the idea of watching all of the Fast and the Furious films. I do not want to become the type of person who judges a film before watching it. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I am the type of person that wants to have watched more films than anyone else, to have read more books, to have experienced more events, to literally know as much as possible about as much as possible. I have no idea why, this is just how I feel. For some reason I decided to spend my leisure time watching major blockbuster action franchises of the past decade. In some way, this is of benefit, in that I will never have to watch any of these films again.

I had no interest in the plot of this film whatsoever. Some criminals want to steal a lot of money from some other criminals. We as the audience are supposed to like these people? We are supposed to sympathise with these people and feel impressed with their ability to drive cars faster than anybody else, their confidence in using guns, their cocky attitudes? I just don't get it. I finished watching the film five minutes ago and I am struggling to remember what it was about. What is the audience supposed to take away from this film? Because, all I am taking from this film, and all the other films within this franchise, is that some people drove some fast cars around a city really fast and outsmarted everybody else by doing so. Time is the most precious commodity, and I am not going to waste mine any further.

1/10

Review: A View to a Kill

John Glen, 1985

James Bond investigates a suspected horse-racing scandal, which leads him to attempt to foil the plans of a megalomaniac East German refugee entrepreneur to utilise the disadvantageous geography of northern California to destroy Silicon Valley and create a worldwide microchip monopoly.

Positive: Solid entertainment. Christopher Walken’s character represents perhaps the final classic and memorable Bond villian. Stunning stunts throughout.

Negative: Roger Moore’s age, especially in terms of his physical appearance compared to 1983's Octopussy. The baudy, slapstick and outdated humour. Too much emphasis on blood and violence.

7/10 

A View to a Kill @ IMDB

A View to a KIll @ Amazon

Review: Fast and Furious

Justin Lin, 2009

The main characters of 2001’s The Fast and the Furious overcome their differences and return to what they know best - driving expensive cars at high speeds, this time in an attempt to infiltrate and topple a heroin importer.

Positive: Better than 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift in terms of this film having a plot with some kind of weight behind it. In the previous two instalments the plot seemed to be little more than an uninspiring vehicle for scenes of car chases.

Negative: A lot of scenes, and the action within them, seemed quite pointless and served only to attempt to provide the (presumably adolescent male) audience with cheap titillation, such as a great deal of women’s backsides completely filling the screen, and groups of girls ‘making out’ with each other. Too much focus on this kind of thing. 

5/10
Fast and Furious @ IMDB 

Fast and Furious @ Amazon UK

Review: Haywire

Steven Soderbergh, 2011

An ex-marine working for a private security company seeks to clear her name and obtain vengeance after she is betrayed by her colleagues.

Positive: Enjoyable jazz soundtrack providing a tense yet energetic mood.

Negative: The basic plot elements were not made clear and therefore the film felt as though it were merely a vehicle to demonstrate over-choreographed fight sequences.  The unthinking man’s Le Carre.

5/10

Test

Testing some sync feeds, m'kay?

Review: For Your Eyes Only

John Glen, 1981

After an undercover British spy ship sinks carrying a secret encryption device, James Bond is dispatched to recover it and ensure it doesn’t fall into Russian hands.

Positive: Roger Moore’s portrayal as a relatively mature Bond. The straightforward storyline, lacking any of the eccentricities of the previous two Bond films. The action maintains the high standard expected of the Bond series and is of a good quality throughout.

Negative: A rather bizarre opening sequence, although aesthetically impressive, fails due to its outlandishness. A somewhat uncomfortable soundtrack tends to disrupt the film’s flow.

7/10

F**k Yeah Product Placement

You know how on Tumblr there are a ton of websites devoted to one particular topic, whether it be youth culture of the 1990s or scientific illustrations published in the 19th century, all with titles starting with 'Fuck Yeah'?

Well, a little while ago I decided to combine the popularity of such blogs with my obsession with finding product placement in films and television shows.

The result of this was Fuck Yeah Product Placement, which can be found right here.